Hi frodeaux! For me and perhaps also for others it could be helpful if you briefly answered my 7 questions. Otherwise there would be no new information.
Concerning apache: I am running dokuwiki on two Monterey machines:
1) macmini late 20214 with homebrew php and homebrew apache installed, but operating homebrew php and Apple apache
2) Macbook Pro M1 2020 with homebrew php and operating with this and Apple apache.
On the first machine I recently had a topic after "brew update/upgrade" etc. that obviously the "wrong" apache was started; instead of the Apple one, brew seemed to have been configured (by itself :-) that its own apache was started. This took some time for me (just user, no specialist) to figure out :-)
Besides this there were no topics at all. Everything was running fine, but frankly speaking it took me some time to make it run.
Remark: You formatted your posting as code or similar. Here only one long line appears. Somewhat difficult to read.